to my wife

From now on, you will wear

two-piece swim suits

when on vacations.

Angela, I need to know,

are you committed to being

my porn star?

I do not want to hear "no"

or "we’ll see about that."

I want my fantasies to be with you.

God has authorized you

and you only

as my partner for intimacy

and that is what I want.

Get ready!

--Representative Allen West (R--Florida)

the 47%

there are 47 percent of the people

who will vote for the president no matter

there are 47 percent who are with him

who are dependent upon government

who believe that they are victims

who believe that government has a responsibility

to care for them

who believe that they are entitled to health care

to food to housing to you name it

my role is not to worry about those people

--Mitt Romney

these purges of god

I think it’s rather peculiar

it’s not in keeping with

our founding documents

our founding vision

I’d guess you’d have to ask

the Obama administration

why they purged all this language

from their platform

why they did all this

these purges of God

--Paul Ryan

o absalom, my son, my son!

Hear that lonesome whippoorwill
He sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
I'm so lonesome I could cry

I've never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind the clouds
To hide its face and cry

Did you ever see a robin weep
When leaves began to die?
Like me he's lost the will to live
I'm so lonesome I could cry

The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
I'm so lonesome I could cry

--Hank Williams

We’ve got a Muslim

for a President

who hates cowboys

hates cowgirls

hates fishing

hates farming

loves gays

and we hate him

--Hank Williams Jr. 

he made me laugh

I'm not sure if men really understand this

but I don't think there's a woman in America

who really expects her life to be easy

And that's fine

we don't want easy

We're too smart to know

there aren't easy answers

And that is where this boy I met

at a high school dance comes in

I could tell you why I fell in love with him

he was tall

laughed a lot

was nervous  

girls like that

it shows the guy's a little intimidated  

and he was nice to my parents

but he was really glad

when my parents weren't around

That's a good thing

and he made me laugh

 --Ann Romney