Barbara Swan
List Stories
List 1:
Anne Marie is addicted to making lists; not just the usual ones like bread, ice cream, butter and eggs, or the somewhat more infrequent ones, like drop the dog at the vet and pick up the dry cleaning, and not even just those once a year, usually never followed through on, New Year’s resolutions, like lose ten pounds, stop smoking and join the gym, but absolutely addicted to compiling and continually chanting those new age life changing lists that Dr. Phil, Louise Hay, and Oprah call affirmations, and insist are within your power to manifest, not by wanting, but by true belief, thereby bringing to fruition the life you deserve; those are the lists that she takes very seriously and that make her crazy, because she knows that she might not get everything done on her usual lists, after all, there are only so many hours in the day and she shouldn’t have ice cream anyway, but she is very clear on the fact that she hasn’t gotten what she’s been affirming for nine years because she doesn’t really truly absolutely believe her affirmations; she knows she’s the one completely at fault for not getting the man of her dreams, who’s between thirty-six and forty-seven, 6’-6’2”, professional with dark hair, a great sense of humor, generous and wants children, the wedding of her dreams on a tropical beach at sunset, or the money and time to travel through Europe; and she has absolutely no one but herself to blame for still being stuck in a dead end job, because she didn’t create an exciting fulfilling one through a strong enough healthy belief system…in fact, she knows beyond the shadow of a doubt, it ‘s her negative energy that she’s put out in the universe, along with the resentments she’s still holding on to for her alcoholic dad leaving her and her mom when she was twelve, and her unresolved anger over that date rape during her sophomore year at college, that caused her to get breast cancer this year, and have a partial mastectomy, and be in the middle of twelve weeks of chemo, and be completely bald.
List 2:
He was eating the mounds candy bar real slow, rolling the coconut into little balls with the tip of his chocolate coated tongue pressed against his upper lip, and thinking about what he’d like to do to the girl across the room sitting on a barstool with her short tight skirt barely covering her milk white thighs, her double D breasts spilling from her Victoria Secret Sexy Collection bra, and her cherry flavored slick Vaseline lip balm lips that were sensuously sucking Blue Moon beer with a straw. She was alone, and he wondered if she was waiting for someone in particular, someone who might come along, or if she was a working girl. He didn’t want to make a move if it was the wrong move, so he made no move at all.